A meditation on you, Vaishnava Kalpa Vriksha
at the dusk of anartha nivritti, the dark night of the soul.
Invoking courage for the long night ahead.
If I lean on you Vaishnava Thakur will you accomodate my pressure?
May I open my mind to you eventhough it is a pilgrimage place for crowes?
will you judge me?
will you forgive?
will you forget?
Will you help me to understand the infinite as the infinite have revealed himself to you?
Will I be able to understand?
I want to cry to understand you... but I cannot.
Until that intense desire blossoms in my heart I feel like a curious trespasser.
A Vaishnava Kalpa Vriksha only works with sincere spiritual desires. That is the only reason I am not yet rich, eventhough having your association.
Giving up the doubt in your ability to give shelter, I worship your tolerance of me.
I trust you because you are non envious, knowledgable, mercyful, forgiving, stable, gracious, friendly and loving
because as a creeper I may grow on you, kalpataru towards the sky of Gaudiya Vedanta
because your purpose is pure
because you have taken shelter of something great and mysterious beyond the grasp of the senses
because you are sound association.
because your every sentence is a perfected sutra that is confirmed by the voice of my heart
because you have feelings worldy persons like me cannot understand
because I dont question your ability to communicate with Krishna and that you are very dear to him
because you teach by example how to surrender
because you have no hope to be happy in the embrace of Maya, and yet a smile decorates your face...
because you dont crave for fame and fortune
because you teach me how to recieve grace
because with the garland of trinad api sunicena around your neck you taste the sweetness of harinam seva and inspire others to join you with your mere proximity
because you are not drawn towards the opposite sex. Not because of impotence, but because of your passionate wedlock with Sri Krishna
because you help to tame me with regulated form
because sometimes you brake that form to allow the substance to speak for itself
because you remember, experience and envisions reality Sri Krishna
because you teach me to find myself and awaken to my eternaly unique lovegiving potential
because you inspire me to give up sin and fall in love with reality.
because you know best how I can be happy
because you enthuse me to walk the path with determination. And eventhough results are slow, you give me patience like that of a datefarmer.
because whether if you are alone or in public (externaly and internaly) you compose poems to express your overflowing fullness
because Nityananda descends within you to benefit the world with the sound of Sri Guru
because the bhagavata culture is alive thrue you
because around you we assemble as family, like many stars assemble around the moon.
because you philosophicaly frame my intellect with Veda Mata, our comforting mother, while promising that a higher taste awaits 2 hours before the dawn...
You ask me to stay awake and chant all night without lethergy
you ask me to die for the world of selfishness, not to rest in peace, but to live in eternal love...
Because your only suffering is the suffering of others and your only happiness is divine service, you descend into the philosophicaly complicated for the sake of meeting up with our jnana tendency.
You come with a sundayfeast for all our senses to meet with our karma tendency
while your gravity and unsuccesfully covered extacy gossips of your hearts rahasya
You translate to us the grammar of Mahaprabhus language of love that our Shastra Gurus have so mercyfully revealed to us.
Because of all this, I pray for the streangth to give up selfishness and laziness and become a sincere student of your aesthetic advice.
lost in a dark forest we are adviced to embrace a particular tree, comforted by its stability and shelter, awaiting dawn.