GM explains on some of his lectures, that in Krsna lila, each cowherd boy thinks: "Krsna loves me the most"., and that they all have right, that this is true.
I like very much this concept, and I was wondering if this is good way to think even here in this world?
Is this the way I should think about Krsna's love for me even now, here, when I am so far from purity of Krsna lila, where (one day) I will experience this feeling-thoughts naturaly?
How to find ballance? Often I was afraid to put some concept in my spiritual life, only not to offend Krsna, or, not to go faster in mind then in my real spiritual practice. This on the other hand often kept me distanced from Him.
Although I was in Vrindavan for 5 days, and I visited most important temples, and the Holy spots of Krsna's pastimes,
I never entered Seva Kunj. From all that I have read from SP books, I did not want to be a fool which is rushing where Angels are afraid to tread. I felt good about my decision, and even today I do not regret.
So, all in all, is this concept - Krsna loves me the most, good way to bring me closer to Krsna, at least in my mind?
Or, it is unnatural, and too high for me to think so at present moment, since such thoughts are purely spiritual and completely beyond my present capacity to even think like this.
I`m definitely not qualified to answer such questions. But thinking about your post I realized that personally I`m fine with thinking that Krishna loves some other people "more" then me. I mean he himself states that he reciprocates accordingly to people`s approach. Why would he favour me beyond someone who is more devoted to him?
In spiritual world everyone is pure and has only Krishna`s pleasure in mind. So his friends there feel they are his equals and feel special. It is natural there. Therefore I have doubt whether just thinking about it in conditioned state can make one realy feel this way...
My idea behind thinking that "Krsna loves me the most" is, that if I think only "Krsna loves me", then it becomes like some general saying of Christians, or some other religious group, something like "God loves you". When I hear such general statement I think... yeah, yeah... that's nice.
But, thinking like "Krsna loves me the most", this shakes me, and awakens me, that the specific God who is Krsna, loves specificaly me.
In all this, the word "the most" is not literally applied in my thoughts, and I am not weighing how much actually He is loving me (according to, as you said, how much I have surrendered thus far).
With this "the most" I personaly feel to be more personaly involved in this reciprocal affair of love between Him and myself. Otherwise, it soon becomes "Krsna loves me" and that's it. And like saying "God loves me", it looses some vital energy of the statement-idea...
In this way I personaly feel about this statement "Krsna loves me the most", I like it, and want to discuss a little bit more with devotees of the forum about it.