Tattva-viveka
ramblings on the road back home...
Jananivasdas - July 3, 2005 2:18 pm
i pray that this foolish writing doesnt offend anyone...
im sitting home listening to the first bhajan cd i ever bought and crying...why?
not because of the cd.
not because its super warm here.
im crying for the separation of deitys that i have had for 10 years now,but today i heard that i will not get to see how nice They look on every festival.
today is the day that i got banned from the local ISKCON temple.such a wierd feeling.i've been going there for 10years and i've been initiated for 1 and half year now and NOW i got banned?!?crazy.
i was chanting my japa at the templeroom and temple presidents rightarm came to me and wanted to talk to me.i saw from his face what was coming...i had to bite my lip while he was talking to so i wouldnt start laughing out loud.he was so bothered while he talked to me the words that templepresident has said to him.he said to me that he knows that i dont preach to people there or anything.i've known that brahmacari from the first day he came to the temple with his girlfriend. 
he said that if they let me in they would have to let narayana maharajas,babaji's and other devotees too!(that would be nice! 
)
worst part was the last darshan of the gauranitai,prahlad narasimha and prabhupada murti that have been really dear to me for many years now....10 years.they have given me their mercy.they have heard my prayers.i felt the separtion from them when i last bowed my head in front of 'em...tears were coming to my eyes...
all glories all glories to SRI SRI GAURA-NITAI and ALL THE VAISNAVAS serving their lotus feets!!!
and i pray that my association hasnt forced someone to jump into the shadow of maya...
servant of the servants jananibas das(yes you can write it that way too!)
here's couple pics that i took today before i had the TALK!!! 
i couldnt for some reason upload pics... 
???
Mathura-natha Das - July 3, 2005 2:56 pm
This is so sad...I wonder if the GBC has passed a resolution that if your not a member of ISKCON, then you cannot come at all??? Here at the local temple (ISKCON) i´m most welcome. I can attend every program I like, and as the local tempel authorities say: "We really like to have you here, Mathuranatha" So why this kinda mentality in Finland???? This really bothers me...*turning red from frustration*
Jananivasdas - July 3, 2005 3:40 pm
sri sri gaura nitai...my last darshan...
"If one regularly sees the Supreme Personality of Godhead in the temple, one will gradually be disinfected of all material desires simply by visiting the temple and seeing the Deity. When one is freed from all the results of sinful activities, one will be purified, and with a healthy mind, completely cleansed, he will increasingly make progress in Krsna consciousness."
Srimad-Bhagavatam 6:16 Purport
Bhrigu - July 3, 2005 4:25 pm
I just spoke with someone in the temple, and he agreed that it was a shame that you're not allowed to come anymore. "He was never making any disturbance." On the other hand, that person was not going to complain to the TP, since he was afraid of his own position being jeopardized.
I could say "Welcome to the club!", but I won't. I'm so sorry, Jananivasa. We all knew that this was coming, but still. I guess I never realised how important the temple was to you. I can understand the principle of banning someone: if I had a temple, and someone came again and again just to cause trouble, I think the Lord would like that person to be told not to come anymore before he has rectified his behaviour. But for *purely* institutional reasons! Srila Prabhupada was furious with the Jagannatha Temple for not allowing Western devotees to enter; here we have a person purporting to "strictly" follow him disallowing you. What an irony!
Jananivasdas - July 3, 2005 4:34 pm
should we say here that KRISHNA WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS!!!!
im alive and i will see all the devotees that i wanna see outside of the temple...but not sri sri gaura-nitai...
wierdly this CLUB is full of great great great devotees!!!hehe..whats wrong with us?!?
Jananivasdas - July 3, 2005 5:02 pm
this is the most important thing that i have learned on my road back home...
vancha-kalpatarubhyash cha
kripa-sindubhya eva cha
patitanam pavanabhyo
vaishnavebhyo namo namaha
"I offer my respectful obeisances unto all the Vaisnava devotees of the Lord. They are just like desire trees who can fulfill the desires of everyone, and they are full of compassion for the fallen conditioned souls."
Jananivasdas - September 11, 2005 10:25 am
hari!
i havent written anything here for a while...
one thing that i miss the most about going to the temple festivals is the loud screaming shouting kirtans...i've never liked sweet,mellow,church like kirtans/bhajans...yeah!im still a dirty punkrocker who likes his music loud and distorted!! i never could sing like a Gandharva and some of those mellow melodies arent for my so excellent singing talent!!
my prayer this time is:
"maybe oneday buy the mercy of lord gauranga i will become a madman and just chant the glories of krsna around the world with my not so Gandharva voice without any attachements!!!"
just something that i just read:
sakhi he, kotha krishna, karaha darasana
kshaneke yahara mukha, na dekhile phate buka,
sighra dekhaha, na rahe jivana
"My dear friend, where is Krishna? Kindly let Me see Him. My heart breaks at not seeing His face even for a moment. Kindly show Him to Me immediately; otherwise I cannot live." C.C.Antya 19.37
OH YEAH!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY RADHE!!! 
rādhā kṛṣṇa-praṇaya-vikṛtir hlādinī śaktir asmād
ekātmānāv api bhuvi purā deha-bhedaḿ gatau tau
caitanyākhyaḿ prakaṭam adhunā tad-dvayaḿ caikyam āptaḿ
rādhā-bhāva-dyuti-suvalitaḿ naumi kṛṣṇa-svarūpam
The loving affairs of Śrī Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa are transcendental manifestations of the Lord's internal pleasure-giving potency. Although Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa are one in Their identity, They separated Themselves eternally. Now these two transcendental identities have again united, in the form of Śrī Kṛṣṇa Caitanya. I bow down to Him, who has manifested Himself with the sentiment and complexion of Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī although He is Kṛṣṇa Himself.C.C.Adi 1.5.
Syamasundara - September 11, 2005 8:10 pm
I really don´t understand this club mentality. Our GM had a disciple of Narayana Mahraja living with us for weeks, but for an Iskcon devotees we are both Gaudiya Matha so what´s the problem. At the same time, though, that young lad was inpired by GM and there was no risk of him preaching off our line to the guests.
Myself when I went to Italy to assist my mother during her death I used to go to the Milan temple to get tulasi leaves or deities´ garlands for her. I was dressed like a devotee all the time and naturally my old friends would ask me questions and I would reply (well I would smuggle Sridhara maharaja´s articles, too), but my preaching was not aggressive in any way. Still they told me not to show up anymore, whether it´s my mom or aunt.
At one point in Eugene we had some disciples of some extremely offensive german Iskcon guru who would come to the Sunday feast and canvass on behalf of their guru. GM didn´t like this breach of etiquette at all, as we weren´t doing that with them. Eventually we had to bring it up.
Oh no, what happened is that a god brother of mine (whom I wish all the best but must be completely crazy by now) just asked one of them: "Is it true that your guru is inimical to mine?" at which both we and them freaked out.
Anyway the point is that there is some scope to certain differentiation; while preaching there must be discrimination, but it kills me that an Iskcon temple is open to all sorts of atheists, punks, hippies, hungry opportunists, but not to devotees who want to have darsan of Gaura Nitai, who extended their mercy even to Jagai and Madhai.
Gauravani Dasa - September 12, 2005 12:33 am
I have often thought the same thing. It's strange that a temple would exclude a fellow vaisnava yet welcome some one who has not begun to practice in this life. The motivation for that kind of decision-making is definitely far from non-sectarian
Jananivasdas - November 29, 2005 4:39 pm
my foolish ramblings can be found at my new KC blog...beware it might not be the most nectarblissblissnectar...
comments are wanted there...and i try to update is as often as possible...atleast when maya isnt taking my thinking time...or XBOX...
servant of the servants jananivas das
"The most fortunate position is to see everyone, everywhere as guru, to see that no one is our servant and no one is indifferent to us."-Srila B.R.Sridhar Maharaja
Babhru Das - November 29, 2005 6:25 pm
Jananivas, that is a great picture of Swami and Paramadvaiti Maharaja! Thanks for this link.
Shyam Gopal Das - November 29, 2005 9:17 pm
that's a very nice picture!!
Jananivasdas - November 30, 2005 11:29 am
jay!thanks...
hopefully you all dare to check out the writings too???
"The unparalleled name of Krishna is an ocean of the nectar of divine love. The name is the method to attain that ocean. Nothing can be considered equal to it." - from Ten Offenses To Be Avoided by Srila Bhakti Sundar Govinda Dev-Goswami Maharaja
Jananivasdas - February 8, 2006 11:31 am
new hippie blog entry about a nightmare i had...
Jananivasdas - March 15, 2006 6:34 pm
haribol.
here is another update to my blogblogblog ONTHEROADBACKHOME... its kinda follow up to the one of the first posts...
servant of the servants jananivas das
Jananivasdas - May 9, 2006 4:50 pm
more new ramblings on the way back home... on the road back home...
hope my wierd writings dont offend anyone?? 
comment them if you dare!!!
"Andhasya me hrita-viveka-maha-dhanasya
corair mahabalibhir indriya-namadheyaiha
mohandhakara-kuhare vinipatitasya
lakshmi-nrisimha mama dehi karavalambam
Although I was very wealthy, I am blind and without discrimination. I have been robbed of my great treasure (Krishna consciousness) by the thieves known as the senses. Despite all my attempts to appease them with different types of offerings, they have thrown me into the pit of illusion and darkness. O Lakshmi-Nrisimha, please bless me with the touch of Your lotus hands." - by Adi Shankaracharya
Jananivasdas - April 26, 2007 9:15 am
its that time of the year to inform that im still alive and top of the world!!! :Nail Biting: and remember my blog of madness.
http://ontheroadbackhome.blogspot.com/
so read it if you dare.
paḍeci bhava tuphāne nāhika niṣṭāra
śrī carana taranī dāne dāse kara pāra
I am plunged amidst the violent hurricane-stricken waves in the ocean of this material world, from which there is no escape. Kindly give me the gift of Your divine lotus feet, which are compared to a boat in which Your servant may cross over the ocean of birth and death.