Tattva-viveka
Bugs and sprouts
Syamasundara - August 20, 2006 6:17 am
Austerity begets strength and knowledge.
This is a handy concept to keep in mind and a powerful one to apply and realize.
I am at the end of my eight-hour night shift in the reception of a hotel where I've been literally been devoured by mosquitoes.
It's so easy to believe oneself to be tolerant when there is nothing to tolerate. These mosquitoes were after my elbows. I counted two, but there must have been more: how much blood can a mosquito ingest? Where does it go?
I didn't kill them, I very rarely do, I am not in a malaria zone, and I don't think I have the right to take a life for a drop of my blood. I am no mahajana and they're just eating, I do it every day, and at the cost of other living beings. I did slap them in the air to stun them, but I doubt I succeeded, they just come back attracted by the heat of my body.
At one point I saw one landing on a piece of furniture, quiet. I just couldn't kill it. Killing bugs is really pointless anyway, for as many as we may kill there are many more coming if what attracts them is still there, without counting the hundreds of their eggs ready to hatch.
Neem is a real good product; it contains a substance that sterilizes bugs without killing them, and prevents eggs from developing. When I moved out of the ashram I meant to order a whole cargo of neem seed cake (the residue after getting the oil out of them), oil, dry leaves and what not, and ship it to Audarya for the cow flies and the garden (Neem is a great bug repellent and fertilizer, what do you want more?).
It was only $100 to ship from India, but alas, I never had that extra money. By the way, anybody is welcome to do that 
(Forgot the URL of that page).
Anyway, back to my mosquitoes, I kept hoping they would satiate themselves, but no, actually now they're my little gurus, reminding me of that leper in Cc who would put the fallen maggots back into his open sores, teaching me sahisnuta, tolerance, and the importance of life in any form.
Mosquitoes and sprouts. Boy, as a vegetarian, when I grow some sprouts for salads it's really tough to see them all together like: "Look at us!!!! We're growing up!" and I'm supposed to truncate that and eat them. It reminds me how important it is to keep Krsna as a factor of the equation in everything we do, otherwise it's wrong. The Gita teaches.
Uff, and now I have to go take breakfast at the restaurant and see people feed on unmentionable things, but at least my heart is a little softer and my mind stronger.
Thank you bugs. Ok that's enough now, get off me.